“People aren’t in awe of your sharp mind? So be it. But you have many other qualities you can’t claim to have been deprived of at birth. Display then those qualities in your own power: honesty, dignity, endurance, chastity, contentment, frugality, kindness, freedom, persistence, avoiding gossip, and magnanimity.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 5.5
The grass is always greener
We have a tendency to compare ourselves with others, especially on social media. We might scroll through our feeds which are basically windows into our neighbor’s lives. Shortly after, we feel negative sensations and become hard on ourselves.
Look at his amazing life, his talented kids, big house with a big yard, incredible beautiful and happy wife, his insane personal accolades, unbelievably talented at everything, a perfect body, and all the time in the world to enjoy his life. Men like these are better at us at everything, aren’t they?
What to do when your life doesn’t measure up to others
We know we shouldn’t compare, but we can’t help it. So, I’m not going to waste time in saying not to compare. We know this already. What we can do is shift our focus to something we can control and perhaps something much more in demand.
We may not have been born better looking, or achieved great social and professional status, but we can change the things we value most.
Marcus Aurelius nailed it in the above quote and Ryan Holiday explained it in great detail in his book, The Daily Stoic to which I will somewhat paraphrase.
Let’s focus not on our deficiencies. Instead, let’s center our energy on choices that reflect our values.
The world is full of money, consumer spending, and superficial people who no matter how much they accumulate, are not happy. However, the world is in short supply of honest, trustworthy, kind, good men. Which trait is more rare?
In times we feel as though we don’t quite measure up. Let’s think about the rarest form of good and be just that.
Can you be an honest man? Can you be kind to someone who has wronged you? Can you be gratuitous for all that you do have and for what you were born with?
Be that man.
Think about it. What do riches bring you if you can’t value what you already have?
